The Nitty-Gritty:

  • How The Joy Of Missing Out author Tonya Dalton discovered the stories and self-talk that were keeping her from really enjoying life and celebrating her success
  • Why identifying the litmus tests she put herself through helped her determine what she really wanted out of life and business
  • How she reflects on the good, the bad, and the ugly to keep her stories and self-talk in check
  • How Tonya rewrites her stories so her self-talk supports her and the life she wants to lead

Let’s talk about self-talk.

Self-talk is that voice inside your head that narrates everything happening around you.

Sometimes self-talk pumps you up—like after you nail a meeting with a new client and you remind yourself what a boss you are.

Sometimes self-talk cuts you down—like when you realize you’ve made a mistake and you tell yourself you’re such a screw-up.

I think we’re all pretty familiar with how our inner critics or inner cheerleaders can impact the way we feel or act at this point.

What you might not be so familiar with is how your self-talk can reinforce stories about how the world works… stories that just don’t hold up to scrutiny.

This month on What Works, we’re examining taking care of ourselves with our businesses. That doesn’t just mean taking time for a Hawaiian vacation with all those sweet airline miles you’ve earned on your business credit card. Nor does it mean treating yourself to a massage, a meal delivery, or a first class upgrade because you “deserve it.”

Taking care of yourself with your business means examining how you work—and how the business works for you—from the ground up.

Today, we’re going to look closely at a key component of how you make decisions for your business—your self-talk—and how your self-talk contributes to the 21st century phenomenal of FOMO.

Specifically, we’re going to look at the stories we tell ourselves and how they convince us to do more, push harder, and never rest for fear of missing out.

Next week, we’ll examine how your business model and identity as a service provider impacts how you run your business with growth strategist Toi Smith.

You’ll also hear from podcaster Elsie Escobar about how she audits her growth and accomplishments over the course of the year and sets intentions for the year to come.

Then, you’ll hear from Hailey Thomas about how a sudden loss led her to rethinking the way her business operates and how it impacts her life.

Alright, back to self-talk and the fear of missing out.

A bunch of the stories we tell ourselves revolve around what it takes to be a good business owner.

And these stories make it really difficult to take good care of ourselves.

Your story might be that a good business owners is always available for their clients—so the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night is check your email.

Or, you might tell yourself that a good business owner always completes their to-do list—and you beat yourself up when you don’t.

Or, you might tell yourself that a good business owner is on all the social media platforms—so you work your tail off to be omnipresent anywhere there’s a chance of an @ sign or a like.

At the root of all of these stories is FOMO. You’re afraid you’ll miss an important client email and that client will dump you. You’re afraid you’re not as productive as you should be and you’ll miss out on a big opportunity. You’re afraid all the cool kids are hanging out on a different social media app and you’ll lose the chance to make it big.

The fear of missing out is fueled by these stories.

Our self-talk keeps us on the edge, always wondering if we’re good enough, smart enough, or tough enough.

Tonya Dalton would like us to know there’s another way. In fact, Tonya has worked hard to rewrite her own stories, clean up her own self-talk, and embrace the joy of missing out.

Tonya Dalton is the author of The Joy of Missing Out and the founder of Inkwell Press. She’s also the host of the hit podcast, The Productivity Paradox.

I wanted to talk with Tonya about how embracing the joy of missing out has transformed her own self-talk as an entrepreneur. We chat about the glorification of busy in today’s culture, the litmus tests we subject ourselves to, how we can rewrite stories that aren’t serving us, and how Tonya actively chooses what she wants to miss out on so she can embrace more of what she really wants out of life and business.

Now, let’s find out what works for Tonya Dalton!

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